Self help | On the Brighter Side

Detachment

by Sara Wales

What is detachment? I see it as a way of pulling back so that you don’t get hurt or caught up in the drama. It is necessary when you need to protect yourself. Buddha looked at detachment as a way to protect oneself from suffering. Detachment is neither kind or unkind, it is neutral.

If you are involved with someone who has issues with addiction it is necessary to detach so that you do not get caught up and become sick with the addict. Over the past few months I have been struggling with this. There is someone I love very much who is an addict and I have had to learn to detach so that I can bring some normalcy and control back into my life. I have had to learn what I can and can not control. This is not easy and you can very easily attach again and try to fix something which is not in your control to fix. I have to keep reminding myself that I control what I say, feel and how I behave. I have had to learn what is my problem and what is not my problem. It is very easy to lose yourself when dealing with an addict. What has been very helpful to me is this quote, “You yourself as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection” ~Buddha In dealing with addiction I have to remember to care for myself as well, this is also very important if you are a caregiver. Caregivers tend to give the best to their patient and lose sight of caring for themselves.

On the brighterside I am thankful for the lesson I am learning and I know that this only makes me stronger. Life can be a struggle but when you pull through you can look back and see how much better you have become as a person.

~Sara

addiction Life Self help

Fear

by Sara Wales

Have you ever wanted to do something but your FEAR got in the way? Have you thought about a new endeavor but wondered what people would say or think?

One of the biggest things that holds us back from so many opportunities is FEAR. We FEAR the unknown, what might happen or what people will think. FEAR is something we must overcome in order to move forward and do what we want to do so that we don’t have regrets. We have one life to live and it is our job to live it to the fullest.

Think of some of the things you are afraid of and ask yourself why?? Look at what you are afraid of with a different perception. Think of the positive outcomes that could happen if you do what you are afraid of?? What then?? Remember getting out of your comfort zone and doing things you fear helps you grow as a person and soon your fear is gone. I can remember be little and afraid to sleep in my room at night because I was scared of the dark. My parents assured me I was safe and there was nothing to fear. Night after night they continued to make me sleep in my room until soon I wasn’t feeling scared anymore. As children our parents made us face our fears so that we would over come them. We must push ourselves as adults to do the same thing. . We just have to move forward and endure until there is nothing to fear. Find the positive and think how proud you will feel once you have faced your FEAR. That is my STAY POSITIVE thought for the week. ~Sara

Self help

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I may not like you, but I will find something to like about you

by Sara Wales

All of us come across people who we like and those that we don’t like. With so many people in the world you aren’t going to like everyone. My mother used to say ” Sara, you don’t like all the dresses in a dress shop people are the same way” So what do we do with those people in our lives who we don’t like? We have them at church, work, school and our community. Well, here is a positive way to go about it. I try to find something that I like or admire about everyone. Sometimes this is hard, sometimes this is easy. Just like the dress shop I may like the fabrics, colors or accessories I just don’t like it as a whole. Try looking at others the same way as the dress shop.

I have found that seeking the positive in others is most helpful for me in work situations. We all know the challenges of working with others and getting a job well done. When I am seeking a quality that I like and focusing on it, it helps me to have a pleasant attitude and to feel positive about that person, this then leads to a better working relationship.

Keep seeking the best in others and watch how relationships change as well as your feelings towards them.

Well, that is my STAY POSITIVE thought for the week. ~Sara

Inspiration Self help

Hold Your Head Up High

by Sara Wales

Do you ever watch how people walk into a crowded room? Do they stand tall and proud or do they look down at the ground avoiding eye contact? You can learn a lot about a person by the way they walk and present themselves. People walking tall, making eye contact have an air of confidence, while those looking down show a sense of insecurity or shyness. Even though it can be very intimidating to walk into a crowded area with others watching, I am going to encourage you to stand tall and walk with your head held high. Walk with a smile that radiates openness and confidence. I understand it can be hard but a little trick to use is to pretend you are a queen or king and the people around you love and adore you. Sometimes pretending to act a certain way helps you gain confidence for the next experience. Another trick if you are very uncomfortable is to repeat positive affirmations while you are doing something. Here are a few for this situation. “Keep my head held high, smile be open and others will too.” or “I am a unique and wonderful being, if I smile and be open others will too. Always remember you are a wonderful, unique and one of a kind who should always hold your head up high and be proud for who you are and what you have to offer.

Here is my STAY POSITIVE thought for the week.

Self help

It’s Okay to Ask for Help…

by Sara Wales

“When I need help I ask, when others need help I give it” Sara

Many people feel that asking for assistance is a sign of weakness. I believe it is a sign of strength. When you ask for help whether on a project, to move furniture or advice on a problem, you are acknowledging the fact that you have limitations and that you need others. We are all very knowledgeable in certain areas but not in all, so we need each other.

Sometimes there are very stubborn people in the world (like myself) who resist the urge to ask for help and do it all themselves. I believe at times this is okay because it pushes us to learn and grow. However when you begin to stumble, feel burned out, or your project isn’t going well it’s important to acknowledge it and realize it is okay to”ask” and most people are more than willing to lend a helping hand.

On the flip side there are also people in this world who are always asking for help and never learn to to do things for themselves. Those people I believe are selling themselves short. A little struggle is good, it helps us to grow and learn.It is best to keep a balance. Attempt things on your own first, if you find you are at a standstill acknowledge your needs and ask for some help.

Here is my STAY POSITIVE thought for the week.

A sunny ray to ponder Inspiration Self help Uncategorized

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Self Love♥

by Sara Wales

Self love is vital for a happy and fulfilling life. Self love is attained through a positive relationship with yourself. Ask yourself, how do you feel about you? What do you think about you? How well do you care for you? These are all important questions that reflect how you care and feel about yourself.

Self love is a process like any other relationship except this is a relationship with yourself. Think about a relationship you have with someone you love, a spouse or a child. You have accepted them for who they are, correct? You take the good with the bad, you are forgiving. You care about their feelings, you don’t let others take advantage or hurt them. Now look at yourself. Do you do these things for you as well?

YOU are important YOU matter. It is important that you take care and love yourself. Discover who you are and what you stand for. Accept and appreciate yourself for all your wonderful qualities. No one is perfect we are all unique. When you start to take better care and love yourself , you will feel better and happier. You’ll gain more confidence and self esteem. Your relationship will grow and you will love yourself more and more.

That is my STAY POSITIVE thought for the week. ♥ Sara

Image taken from http://dilldosti.blogspot.com/2012/03/love-me-like.html

Inspiration Self help

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Self Talk

by Sara Wales

Self talk is the most important communication you will ever have. Self talk effects our self confidence, self esteem, our mood and our power to accomplish things. Think about how you would talk to a child or a friend. Would you be encouraging, kind and nurturing? Do you talk to yourself that way?

I encourage you to improve your inner dialect. When you start to think I can’t say I can with a little practice, or I can if I try hard enough or I can if this is something I really want. Change the thoughts of I ‘m stupid, I’m no good to I am smart I am good. I can do it.

Find a picture of yourself as a child and really look at it. The next time you are engaged in negative self talk think of that picture of yourself and how you wouldn’t talk to a child that way so you won’t talk to yourself that way. You are a miracle, a beautiful creation, appreciate and talk kindly and encouragingly to yourself. You will boost your self esteem and confidence. You may even begin to feel better and happier.

That’s my STAY POSITIVE thought for the week.